Going nowhere
I feel I am going nowhere.
Yesterday after a lunch with friends, I crashed and that after that began to feel better. Better than I had for days? I am losing track of time.
I felt goodish in fact.
This morning I am back where I have been for days: Achy, nauseous, minds spinning like a hurricane.
I can't stop thinking about her. I can't stop the analysis of everything know about her, the situation, things she has said and trying to divine my future. I know I can't. I know I must accept. I know I must escape this rut. But knowing is not doing it.
I hate waiting. I have been waiting for everything for almost two years. I am held back from everything. I am losing everything.
Or more I have lost it and can not do anything to get it back.
I am so tired of feeling like shit.
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