Bear away
Thinking about a couple things lately on positive vs. negative. Hoping that writing about it a bit will help clarify what is going on. Some of the below may be mistaken but that is part of the learning process.
So I've noticed a few articles on positive vs. negative reinforcement and how positive is more effective at motivating behavior. Yet in the US we have a cultural bias towards negative reinforcements.
We raise our children and our pets with almost entirely punishment based incentives, which communicates that as long as you don't do anything bad, you're okay. Evidence shows this to increase aggression but we still seem to feel the need to use force to control although it would take less energy in the long run to attract rather than compel.
Our approach to national security is also primarily negative, with very little effort devoted to diplomacy and much much more devoted to blowing people up who might threaten us.
This is also seen in our justice system, which is solely predicated on punishment or revenge, yet in our daily lives we are told to respect each other and not seek revenge. Schools are coming to resemble prisons more each year, with armed guards, metal detectors, and random drug testing. Every time there is an incident, the screws are clamped down tighter, without any consideration that it might be these draconian impositions which are causing the kids to go postal in the first place.
Even in medicine the approach is negative in that as long as you don't have any bad symptoms you are okay. Further the concern is focused on symptoms, not the causes of those symptoms.
Is it any wonder there is so much emotional tension in a society where the fundamental assumptions of human nature are hateful, and yet we are told to love one another?
So what does this mean to anything - I'm certainly not going to resolve social hypocrisy in my lifetime. Yet I can control my own life and ask what the evidence is for a given approach. How will beating myself up make me a better person? How will beating someone else up help them? OTOH don't we do people a disservice to simply blow sunshine without honestly considering that there is more to skill than confidence?
Yet positive doesn't mean unicorns and kittens and sunshine and flowers. It just means to focus on where you're going, rather than looking in the rear view mirror at what you're trying to get away from. In this sense positive thinking is a focus on what you want to accomplish rather than trying to prevent yourself from doing bad things. So possibly my relapse was due to my focus on not drinking (negative) without finding ways to meet the needs that drinking allows me to neglect. I'm sure there is more to it than that but this is a start.
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