stigmata
I think I'm getting panic attacks. I don't want to worry about it too much because that would obviously only make the problem worse. It's not fun though.
Feels like I am on a double edged sword with alcohol. I get overwhelmed very easily when I'm not drinking, but I damage my physical health when I am. Sobriety terrifies me because last try I realized I don't know how to deal with life without chemical assistance. It's like emotions never pass through, they just all collect until I feel like doing cocaine and a liter of vodka instead of just 5-7 shots of vodka.
I wish substance abuse counselor wouldn't keep banker's hours, actually worse than banker's hours because he only works 8-5 Mon-Thurs. This means I have to take off work any time I want to see him which if that is a weekly or even monthly thing I believe my manager will start asking questions.
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