God is in his heaven all is right with the world
Dunno why I'm so happy today. I'm bouncing off the walls with the glee of a tweaker stumbling upon a cache of electronics and an extensive set of specialized screwdrivers.
Think somebody switched my wellbutrin with a tab of X. Might be that I took an abrupt break from drinking. Or that I'm getting stuff done today, the vitamin b shot I got on Thursday, starting meditation again, or starting to make peace with religion. Emphasis on the starting, still have a long way to go but talked to priest yesterday and he was again pointing out that God doesn't want to see us fall. And that it is okay to have doubts. Makes a lot more sense, I mean how can God really expect us to just bow down when he hides himself and doesn't heal amputees.
I was raised with God as basically the ultimate boss character of the universe, and you better dress your best and be respectful and rigid and don't dare step out of line or it's hellfire time. This about the god who said, "it's the sick who have need of a doctor." So at the time I just couldn't make it fit. Now I've got more confidence to make up my own mind and separate what makes sense from the nonsense.
Ingrained belief operates at a deeper level than critical thought as I noticed when the priest invites me to mass and my response is, "I'm wearing sneakers, how could I go to Church???." This when the priest who is in charge of the mass is saying hey come along. You'd think if anyone could waive the dress code it would be the MC. I actually really love mass too. Not being Catholic I haven't seen enough for it be boring and I really dig Catholic churches with all the marble and sculptures, stained glass and organs. Damn I love organs when the spine rattling bass notes come out. What other musical instrument uses an entire building as a soundboard?
The nonsense: do this don't do that god hates you if you drink or gamble, and FFS don't even THINK about sex unless you solely do it in the missionary position for the sole purpose of creation and even then you're not supposed to enjoy it:mad:. He's gonna burn you forever and ever unless you live exactly as I think you should and oh yeah gimme money. This is the stuff that inspires bumper stickers like, "God is great, but his fan club makes me nervous."
What makes sense is generosity and forgiveness and mercy and all that long haired hippie stuff, which as it turns out Jesus was a hippie long before Jerry Garcia and if your average right winger met Jesus on the street today would demonize Him as a socialist. This is not to say let's bash conservatives and build glorious liberal paradise and join hands singing Kumbaya, but maybe we could stop screaming at each other and recognize our shared humanity even if we don't make exactly the same lifestyle choices. Just a thought.
---
update later in the day... giddy feeling of oneness with the universe and all that totally faded and sunk into state of confusion later in the day. Realized I forgot to eat anything, probably just had low blood sugar. Neat. I don't experience hunger as hunger, I just start to feel my brain float away and I get to go through possible causes to find out what I forgot to do in self care. Pffft, bodies. Elegant, but so high maintenance.
38 Comments
Recommended Comments
Join the conversation
You are posting as a guest. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.