Vanished!
On Monday I wrote in a blog post as follows:
"In the real world, we learn to trust over time and with confirmation (I'm recalling the saying "trust, but verify"). Quite frankly, after 5 months, I have no verifyable proof that my BF has a mother, that he used to go to my university, that his friends are who he says they are, that he has a job, that he has money, or that he's interested in ME as opposed to hoping he can deceive me like the last guy did. For all I know, he's living off the money he ripped off from the last girlfriend. Given my past experience, I keep my distance. I will never allow him to be in a position to hurt me. He can do far, far more damage than anybody here. So that's probably why he's 'not quite a BF'."
Since Friday, this so called 'BF' has vanished. He was likely away from town and away from his computer for the weekend. But he hasn't returned any calls since then. I think he knows this site and my stagename. If not, he's very smart and he could have figured it out. He's had access to my computer. So my guess is either he read the above post and is either busted or angry. Neither of which justifies a complete cutoff of all contact. Then again maybe. If busted, he never cared about me anyway so he's moving on to the next victim. If angry, I suppose it would be difficult to confront me about information he was reading on my blog - which I think is immoral to do without my knowledge. The other alternative is that he's incapacitated or dead. However, my therapist pointed out I probably would have been contacted had that happened. So that's it - no warning, no fight, nothing. I did ask him a few weeks ago, "what would you do if you didn't want to see somebody anymore". He said he'd never return their calls. So 'incapacitated or dead' is looking more and more remote. And that scares the hell out of me.
Unless I see him in the obits, I think I'll drive over to his house on the weekend - the address was a chore to track down but I did manage - that reminds me - the circumstances leading to me needing to know that were a red flag already. Red flags are coming up in my memory. One by one by one.
I desperately need closure on this. What's going on? OMG he could have copied my house key:confused:. I have recurring nightmares about that one. I have two young girls. He knows the exact dates I'll be away in December.
Oh, and one more thing. I just called his cell phone. Sounds like its been cut off.
Man oh man oh man, I seriously wish I was making this stuff up. That's it, I give up - no more relationships unless the guy is willing to go through a freakin' inquisition. I just can't take any more betrayal - I've already got chest pains, wake up out of breath and have an irregular heartbeat. I swear if I wasn't being so careful about my health I would be dead many months ago.
And yes - this blog is now private.
19 Comments
Recommended Comments
Join the conversation
You are posting as a guest. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.