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friends suck


Blossom

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i hate when someone says they're your friend when really they don't want you as a friend. i don't feel like any of my "friends" really want me around. i feel invisible when i'm with them. maybe i should change my name back to invisible. the only true friends i have are you guys on this site i think.. at least ye are interested in listening to me. it sucks when someone you thought was a friend turns out to not be your friend. even my cousin doesn't seem to want me around and i would've considered her to be one of my best friends but obviously i was wrong. i camped with her at the festival and she had absolutely no interest in listening to me. it was as if i was in the way. i was trying to have fun but she mostly ignored me. i thought she was just having a bad day at first but then we bumped into some of her other friends and she had no problem talking to them. she wouldn't even walk beside me, she always walked ahead of me with her back to me. i ended up crying and feeling like killing myself, not that she noticed, so i figured if i left her to hang out with her friends at least i wouldn't spoil her weekend. i went off on my own and made some new friends, mostly pervy druggie old men, but at least they didn't mind me hanging out with them and they listened to me. then eventuallly i met up with my cousin again and she continued to ignore me. i dunno. what's wrong with me that noone wants to be around me?

:):(:(

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i just don't know what to do anymore. this site is the only thing distracting me from hurting myself right now. i dunno how to fix things. i think they're unfixable. i can't make my family like me. i don't think they ever will, especially not you know who. she's outside my bedroom door right now shouting at me. i feel trapped. and there's nothing i can do about it.

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i wish i knew why everyone hates me. they really really hate me. i dunno what i've done. noone likes me and noone wants me around. noone NEVER EVER wants me around. i don't belong anywhere. i wish i had somewhere to go.

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i'm so useless that's why noone wants me around. who wants to be around a useless person? noone. i don't mean to be so useless and stupid. i obviously drive people away with my uselessness. it would be so much easier for everyone if i wasn't here anymore. all i am is a waste of space.

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it wasn't just one day it was 3 days. and she was just in a bad mood with me and noone else. i don't care about that anymore. i'm over it. she's gone back to college now so i probably won't have to see her for like a year. whatever.

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Blossom, the point wasn't how long she was witchy or with whom, it was that her behavior is her problem (and problem it is), not yours. Maybe, in her mind, there's some "reason" to act that way, but a friend would have brought up the problem with you, if any, and tried to solve it. Her behavior wasn't friendly, but it also wasn't your fault.

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